or search by parameters

Dating site: With membership or without it?

Dating site: With membership or without it?

Many dating sites offer paid membership to male users. They usually offer them full access to the ladies’ profiles and do not impose limits on exchange with personal details between the members.  For male users seeking for onlinedating thisis a perfect option to get quickly as many contacts as they want. Having made contacts with numerous women, smartuser may not need services of the dating site any more.  He may opt for further communicating with chosen women(think of the language barrier) on his own. Should he chose for this option, he continues on his own risk.

The problem is that such a love seeker often does not receive responses from the ladies he would like to communicate with.On the other hand, heusually receivesa lot of unwanted letters. Not everyone has enough time to cope with the huge amount of correspondence with no chances for future. Simply ignoring incoming letters is not a good alternative since always remains a chance to miss a diamond in the pile of mud. Besides that, habit of leaving letters without answer definitely undermines reputation of a person.  In the end of the paid period the user of a dating site with membership realizes that he has few contacts of ladies he wants to communicate, and many unwanted contacts. After some time, it may be needed to renew membership to continue the search from the beginning.

Anonymity in the Internet gives many advantages to the users. If you want to remain unknown, you have plenty of opportunities to achieve this. But you cannot remain fully anonymous, when trying to build relations. Disclosing own details to someone whom you do not know well may lead to undesirable consequences from increase of spam to giving, sometimes unconsciously, a key from own sensitive data to the hackers. A user who maintains contacts with many women simultaneously almost certainlywill be vulnerable to such attacks.  Who knows who is hiding behind this beautiful angel in the photo?

If a dating site operates without moderationthe user runs high chances to be approached by scammers who play innocent and charming girls in trouble and later beg for financial help for urgent surgery of close relative or paying a debt, etc. The Internet is full of such stories. The girl may be real, it can even meet the guy in her country and spent some time with him, just enough for appearing with sad news that grandma has been hospitalized and must be operated. She would be desperately looking a symbolic amount of five thousand eurofor medical costs.  Having received the money, the girl disappears without a trace. The poor guywould remain with empty pockets and useless telephone that nobody picks up.

Dating sites with paid services form alternative to the ones with free membership.  They are sometimes referred to as Paid Per Letter, or PPL sites. Common accusations are that such sites form a database with fake ladies’ profiles and hire typing slaves for writing love letters to the users, forcing them to reply (and pay!). Such sites offer translation service, which is actually rather imposed than offered, because it makes legitimate presence of a third person who is aware of all correspondence. Such translator may “help” the girl to give the right answers in chat, if chat takes place of course. The girl may be not aware of all the communication made on behalf of her name, but the translator will not fail. 

PPL sites do exist and many of them are real scammers. However, business model with moderated communication has definite advantages, which should not be overlooked. PPL sites with good reputation not only declare but really check personality of ladies before making their profiles. It is always possible to trace particular person in case this becomes necessary. Despite latest technical developments and spread of the Internet, many women in countries like Ukraine do not know how to use the translation services efficiently, or are afraid to do this without supervision. Knowledge of foreign languages is often being overestimated. It may be true for the youngest generation, that English is not a problem for them. For some older women communication in English is a real obstacle for communication. Possibility to correspond  with a person from abroad with the help of translator may be a nice plus for them at least in the beginning. 

One more important aspect of PPL sites is that the money paid for the services do not burn with time. For a pensioner it is not a problem to sit the whole day at the computer, typing letters, but for a real person with busy job it is not always possible to find time for online dating. Real people go to business trips, have quarter reports, deadlines and cope with delays with documentation from vendors. They visit conferences and fairs, develop business plans and write articles. Time for private live is limited. PPL sites allow to communicate with own speed without fear of losing the money. If the lady is real and wise, she will accept this style.

If the online dating intermediator is fair, it is not really important how money is charged. What matters is the average cost spent by a user before he reaches his goal or realizes that this is not what he needs. The sites with membership do earn money too and make profit in the same way as the sites without membership.

Risks of communicating with a wrong person always remain, regardless type of business model of an online dating website. No one can get inside the head of each woman and read her real intentions. Some people just like playing, other simply may not like the correspondent, who may feel robbed when his letters are not replied. Well this is the same risk as in real life when one goes for a dating. No warranty.

The good thing is that following simple rules may reduce the risks to acceptable level. It is necessary to learn how to recognize scam site and never use it despite the most beautiful faces over there. Second precaution is quite obvious – do not give money to anyone whom you do not know. Make good acquaintance first.

In the end, it becomes clear that the most important question is reduced to the ability of recognizingfraud.  Albeitit is not realistic to make overwhelming list, the most common features of scam sites can be summarized as follows:

1.    The user after registration immediately is approached by beautiful girls with love letters. Despite it is really possible that someone falls in love with the person on the photo, in reality the chances for that are negligibly small. If the user immediately after registration receives long letters filled with passionate love confessions – it is certainly a scam. Real girl would not write such letter to a person she saw only in a photo.

2.    The letters from women are very general. Questions of the user are ignored. Instead the letters from girls tell long stories how they live, about their relatives and acquaintances.

3.    The girl does not want to speak English at all. Real young ladies in Ukraine, especially those looking for a husband abroad, at least try to learn English. People with higher education certainly do speak basic English which is enough for the beginning of communication. It may be not true for some older women.

4.    The dating site imposes translation. In the real site this service should be optional.

5.    Fake girls do not have a real job. They are usually fitness trainers, of freelance web designers. Real girls may not be available in the night hours, or will react properly if woken up at night. Scammers are always online and friendly.

6.    Real women do not sit at the site for months and do not communicate with hundreds of men. For scammers this is their job to have hundreds of interlocutors.

7.    Be careful with sudden requests for money for whatever reason. Even if you are invited to visit the girl in her country and give the money personally to her. Make a copy of her passport first and check other details thoroughly.

None of these rules is 100% guarantee that the site and or woman are notscam, but if several of these factors are present together, it is surely scam. If you want to use services of a dating site, be wise. Make a test first, do not publish anything in your own profile. Just register and look around.  Scammers will attack you like sharks, referring to your nice profile and stunning matches with their own expectations. If you start communicating with girls, ask direct questions, offer to write in English, and invite girl to chat online. Real girl who is interested to make acquaintance will agree for that. Build trust first, be reasonable. Meet the girl in a safe place so that you and your money are protected. And then decide if this is what you were looking for. If you believe sweet talks and do not pay attention to details you may lose your time, money and even trust in humanity. That is the last thing we want to happen.